


Trying to sleep and fifthy other things

by Televa



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Character Death, Fluff, M/M, every chapter is individual, headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-05 00:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Televa/pseuds/Televa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The last thing I remember is Chibs’ soft kiss on my forehead. And man – it feels like home."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't found enough fics about Chibs and Tig, so I decided to write my own and increase the amount of Chig fics. Yay! This certain fandom has totally became a very big part of my life, just like its characters. English isn't my mother tongue, and only few of the coming fics will be betad, so forgive me my mistakes. Prompts are more than welcomed.

The things were fucked up since the ATF arrived to Charming. We were really stupid, thinking that they’d left after a week noticing that this wasn’t their town. It all lead to an entire chaos: Abel was kidnapped, Gemma had to run away and Half-Sack got killed.

Clay told me to get with Gemma, to keep her in sight all the time with few other guys. I did my best, but that wasn’t good enough. In some weird way things ended up quite well; Gemma’s father going to the nursing home, a too curious girl causing her own death and Gemma falling into a hospital’s bed because of dysrhythmia. What a lovely week indeed.

Somehow I organized time for myself to get into bed and sleep. I don’t know how I did it, where did I find the time, but here I am – lying in my own bed at the club house trying to sleep but not getting it. For the first time in my life I’m actually trying to sleep even thou’ I know something’s missing. Something certain.

I roll to another side and bury my face into the pillow, closing my eyes and inhaling the scent. It smells like him, but he’s not here. No one’s here, I’m all by myself. And, for fuck’s sake, it’s awful to be alone. To be without Chibs.


	2. Driver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was supposed to be as short as the first fic, but when you have a flow you have to use it. Just some fluff I love to write, these boys totally deserve their own moments. Unbetad, unfortunately, so forgive me my mistakes.

We’re driving back to club house from a well-run task, the warm summer wind blowing against our faces. It was a good day and no one got shot, so I let myself smile. The whole company is here driving on the silent motorway, with no problems in their minds. There’s only the sweet sound of Harleys’, as well as the empty motorway.

I am driving just behind Clay and Bobby’s next to me. All I know about the others is that Chibs’ driving behind me. I feel slightly awkward despite my good mood. We’re good mates, Chibs and I, but during the last few weeks he’s changed his behavior towards me. He used to chat and laugh with me at the bar until it was four A.M.; until we were both so drunk we passed out where we were sitting. But those times are gone now. They say that the good dies young, and this certain good died too young.

Suddenly my good mood is gone.

As the others continue probably back to club house, I head to my own tiny apartment, back to the outskirts of the city. I don’t usually stay there, almost all of my stuff is in my room at the club house, but when I do it’s because I don’t want so see nobody else. Unfortunately someone from the group decides to follow me. As I park my motorcycle near the stairs I notice who it is and my heart skips a beat. It’s Chibs.

“Hey, ye doin’ alright, Tiggy?” He asks with a smirk as he takes his helmet off. I do the same and nod.   
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for taking care mother hen, but I have few things to do. Alone.”   
It feels bad to be so rude to him. I decide not to show it. It’s just not part of my nature to show my inner feelings to anyone (including Chibs). 

“Tig, ye know I don’t believe that shite. I want ye to tell what is wrong, do ye hear me?”

Again I find myself nodding, this time giving in. “All right asshole. Come inside then.”

As he follows me inside I try to make my mind – should I tell or not. The lonely boy in me wants to scream everything aloud while the Son in me wants to be quiet. We stay silent as we reach the door and I let him in regretting what I’m doing. An old song comes to my mind, filling my head with its lyrics and melody. I start humming without even noticing it. Chibs joins me, humming the same tune with me. He sits down and I head to the kitchen laughing.

“Didn’t think you as a fan of Kenny Rogers,” I have to say as I pour whiskey shots for us. He chuckles and stands up.

“Aye, same thing ‘bout ye, brother,” he murmurs and comes to stand close to me, so damn close. He takes the glass from my hand and moves back to the living room. I exhale slowly and follow him.

The mood’s extremely awkward first, but soon I find us laughing and chatting like back in the old days. The more we drink the easier it becomes, and soon we’re both near passing out. And when my sight starts to blur I first kiss him quickly and then set my head on his lap closing my eyes.

The last thing I remember is Chibs’ soft kiss on my forehead. And man – it feels like home.


	3. Morning persons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again; English ain't my mother tongue, so forgive me my mistakes. I've forgotten to tell that I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS (they belong to Kurt Sutter) AND I GET NO MONEY NOR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I just like writing.  
> P.S. This is my personal favorite of these fics. Enjoy!

It’s another boring early morning at the club house. The others are still very asleep as I walk down the corridor to play some billiard by myself. When I reach the lobby of some sort I have to blink twice to make sure I’m not hallucinating.

There’s Tig lying on the bar table a cup of coffee on his stomach. I check the clock and it’s still five A.M. on a Saturday morning. He straightens himself and gives me a tired smirk.

“Mornin’, Chibs. Didn’t expect to see you awake this early. Here, I made some coffee earlier, wasn’t able to get sleep.” 

For an evening person he talks a lot during mornings, I notice and laugh a little. I don’t take some coffee, but instead I pour myself a glass of water and drink it slowly. I pour another one.

“Wha’ are ye even doing here? Everyone else’s still sleeping,” I have to ask. Tig’s now sitting on the same bar table, legs swinging sluggishly. He takes a sip from his coffee and turns to me. His eyes are so moody I feel shivers and he looks so much older and tired than usually.

“I wasn’t able to get sleep.”

I sigh and suddenly he’s standing next to me, and I’m next to him. We’re so close each other I can feel his breathing on my cheek. I have to close my eyes.

He’s there, I’m there and we kiss. We fuck. We love. We share a cig on the billiard table and my heart aches. I’m still married to Fiona and I still have a daughter somewhere there and I realize I should be there with them, not here. And then I look into Tig’s eyes again and notice they’re not moody anymore.

My place’s right here in Charming next to him and next to SAMCRO, not in Ireland.


	4. Hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry how long it took me to update this. School is literally killing me at the moment, because there's only one and half week until the exam week. Gosh, it sucks. I've sent few of these to my English teacher to beta, but she's quite slow so I'll change the betad ones here when I get them. I also want to make sure that I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS, they belong to Kurt Sutter. And yeah, English ain't my mother tongue, so please forgive me my mistakes. //betad.

When I look up I see a red-white-blue banderol that says ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINEY’. It makes me feel sick, the colors are too clear when everything else around me is blurred. Even the noise is blurred, yet so clear and loud.

I need to get outta here.

Walking through the kitchen and the living room causes me to greet a few elderly men I don’t know, share a bad joke with very drunken Happy and hug Gemma. When everything that is done and I find my way to the roof I feel very relieved. These few messy days have showed me the importance of being alone on someone roof smoking a cigarette during a clear, starry night.

I light my cig and take a very deep breath. The nicotine already calms me down and my sigh starts to clear. The wind is cold and makes me shiver, but at the moment I really don’t care. It seems like the world itself has stopped moving and it’s just me, this roof, the cig and the cold autumn wind.

When I close my eyes I’m alone, when I open them I’m not. Chibs is here, standing near staring at me. He sways a little before plopping next to me. Our legs touch.

“I see now why ye end up in places like this. It’s a totally different world when looking at forward instead o’ back there,” he says slowly before taking a sip from his beer. I nod.

He rests his head against my shoulder and chilly night makes our breaths steam. It’s so peaceful that I’m amazed.

Chibs wraps his left arm around me and I have to lean closer. There we are, two tough biker men having a cuddle moment on a fucking roof, when our friends are having a birthday party below us. I have to laugh and then shake my head as Chibs looks at me confused.

Having peaceful moments like this is important to me, but that’s something I would never admit aloud.


	5. Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Once again; I do not own these lovely characters (but having Chibs in my house wouldn't be awful) and I don't get any money. English ain't my mother tongue, so forgive me if there're any mistakes.  
> I don't wanna beg anything, but even one kudos would let me know if there's even a one who likes these, okay?

Guns, fire, dead bodies and smoke. That is all I can see as I stand up. Bodies of my enemies and bodies of my friends. My brothers. I wipe a tear of blood out of my forehead before it catches my eyes. Real, salty tears run wild down on my cheeks. Everything becomes a mix between gray and red.

When the smoke settles there’s only one thing I can see clearly. I make my path to him, walking carefully to not to kick the bodies. I see how Opie stands up next to Juice from the corner of my eye, but I don’t care about them. I jump over a ripped corpse which identity I can’t recognize.

He sees me and I close my arms around him squeezing tight, letting him know that we’re both alive. As I kiss Tig’s bloody cheek softly he hugs me even tighter.

“Chibs.”

I know he has to say my name, just to make sure that I really am there next to him. Standing there in the middle of chaos hugging Tig is like having a tiny chance of hope. Many of enemies are dead, just as many of our men are dead. But I know there will be better days. But now I don’t know what to do – except revenging the death of our men and keeping Tig safe.


	6. Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GODS. When I woke up today and checked my email, I couldn't believe my eyes. Three kudos'. THANK YOU ALL, I really appreciate this <3  
> Once again I have to remind that I don't own these lovely fellows, they belong to Kurt Sutter. English isn't my first language, so forgive me my mistakes. Enjoy this little one, because there'll be a lot of angst coming soon.

Seeing Chibs like this makes me laugh a lot. He tries to be calm and steady, but he fails so badly it's funny. There are children running around him, laughing like tiny maniacs, and I have to cover my laugh into my hands again. I know how he wants to get out of that situation, he looks so exhausted already, but he knew that he could lost the bet. And when you lost a bet against the Sons, everything can happen. Being in a green dragon costume really isn't Chibs' favorite thing, but he knew what he was doing. I have to laugh a little more.

When his hell of two hours is done and we've taken the last picture, Chibs heads to the changing room very eagerly. I have to make an excuse and I follow him in. He doesn't notice me; he's too concentrated on getting back to his normal clothes, getting back to be Chibs.

I sneak closer and when I’m standing right behind me, he sneers.

“Ye should really improve those sneaking skills of yers, Tiggy. Ye’re loud as a fuck.”

I have to roll my eyes before wrapping my arms around him. He turns slowly and surprises me with an awkward kiss.

“But ye know, I like that.”

I kiss him back letting my hand wander lower slowly. It causes him to moan loudly and whine a little, but all we can do now is just a quick blowjob. I know we are waited by our friends, but when we get back to the club house… We’ll have plenty of time to do whatever we want to.


	7. Sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm so sorry how long I've been silent (freakin' school and stuff), but now I have returned! Once again; characters belong to Kurt Sutter, I just write, and English ain't my mother tongue. This one isn't betad, so if there's any mistakes forgive me and let me know.

I never thought about his age before he died. It wasn’t important then, and it’s not now either, I just want to know. I think he was about my age, somewhere around late forties, even thou’ I never asked him about it. Yet he looks so much older as I carry his body in my arms, waiting for someone to come and help me.

But no one does.

With every step I take Tig’s body get colder and lighter as my heart gets heavier with grief and sorrow. I bite my cheek to not to scream, but I let my tears run wild.

It wasn’t supposed to be Tig who got shot. The bullet was meant for someone unimportant drug dealer, not for my precious Tig.

Not for my love.


	8. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaa, another chapter uploaded today! These lovely little fellows belong to Kurt Sutter, so all I can is just to write about my headcanons and stuff. English is my second language, so there may be random mistakes. You can forgive me them, can't you? I'm sorry that this chapter is sad just like the last one, but after this it'll get happier. I promise. //betad.

It doesn’t matter where I look; there are people everywhere around me. People I can’t recognize talking with people I work and grew up with. Total strangers with my brothers, yet I’m the one alone. And, fuck, it feels strange to stand there with a glass in my hand.

He’s gone now. My lovely Tig is gone somewhere I am not able to follow. Not yet; I still have SAMCRO to help; guns to transfer and bikes to drive. The second important things in my life make no matter if I have no one to share them with.

And the most important lays in a black coffin few steps away from me.

The few relatives of Tig’s don’t know who I really am. They just give me judging glares and whispers I can’t hear. When I’m only a face in a crowd, I don’t have to share my agony with people who don’t understand our lifestyle.

Before I get too lost in my thoughts Juice and Kozic come to stand next to me with empty coffee cups in hands. They don’t say anything, but I know they want me to know that I’m not alone. I can feel it.

But this is my sorrow to grief, not theirs.

As I bury my face into my hands to hide the sudden tears in my eye corners I feel a light touch on my shoulder. For a heartbeat I imagine I’m standing next to my bike fastening the helmet and Tig’s giving me the last touch of courage before we do something dangerous. But it’s not Tig, of course it’s not him, but it’s Jax. The great Jackie-boy.

“How are you doin’? I just wanted to make sure that SAMCRO will revenge this. We all will. And we are all here for you.”

I can feel how his voice crackles a little, but I make no effort to show it. All I can do is just nod to Jax, and nothing else.

They say that scars are healed with time, but it never works. Not this time.


	9. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY that I haven't updated for a loooooooooong time. During the last week I've spent 3-7 hours in a day at the hospital. My granny's there, and I've never worried about someone this much. Anyway, I'm now scetching new chapters, but first I have to complete them and write on a computer. Oh, and btw, every character mentioned belongs to Kurt Sutter, so I don't get money from this. Which is good, because English isn't my mother tongue, so there might be some typos.

“I am _so_ going to rip Kozic’s ass off when we get back. That little prick deserves it,” Tig mutters under his breath as he tries to warm his hands. Because Kozic had parted and wandered somewhere alone taking the map with him, Tig was now stuck in the forest with Chibs. The night was already falling and walking to a random direction didn’t make any sense. They’d decided to stay where they were a make a campfire. Unfortunately the Scot wasn’t a professional in making fire, so they were both shaking in cold.

Tig earns a very mocking glare from Chibs, who is crouched upon a small circle of rocks trying to light a proper fire.

“Tig, could ye please stop acting like a complaining bitch and come here to help me.”

Tig is about to make a respond, but then he realizes Chibs isn’t asking – he’s demanding. When the brunette puts his hands in his pockets, he feels something peculiar and brings it sight. He reads the small-printed text before throwing the green jar to Chibs.

“Try that, it should work,” he says and walks behind the other man. Chibs studies to object in his hands and turns to Tig.

“Really, Tig? Vaseline? How’s that s’pposed to help me making a fucking fire?” He’s voice is full of suspicion, just like his face. Tig nods furiously, but when nothing happens he grabs the tiny jar from Chibs’ hands frustrated. He opens it and warms it a little bit in his hands.

“What, they didn’t teach you this in scouts? The lighter now, _please_.”

As Tig spreads little lumps of Vaseline amongst the sticks and leaves, Chibs gets his lighter work properly. He brings the flame near the material of coming fire trying to light it up, but instead of sticks and leaves the flame catches Tig’s hands.

He roars in sudden pain and hits his palms against his jeans over and over again killing the flames as fast as he could. Chibs acts quickly too – he empties a water bottle on his hoodie and wraps it around Tig’s half-burned hands.

“Ye okay?” he asks worried as he takes Tig’s hands in his own. They are not so badly burned, but the skin has already started to peel. As he looks up he sees how Tig has bit his lip hard until bleeding. Even though Tig has gone through so much freak stuff and killings, the pain on his face makes Chibs’ heart ache.

“YOU FUCKIN’ ASSHOLE JUST TRIED TO BARBERQUE ME! WHAT ARE YA, A FREAKIN’ SADIST OF SOME KIND?!”

Well, Chibs’ heart didn’t ache anymore.

“Yeh’re the one who thought it’d be a good idea to set up a fire with fuckin’ VASELINE, Tig! It ain’t my fault that ye didn’t wipe it off properly,” Chibs points out and turns his back to Tig, leaving the other man totally pissed off.

It takes only five minutes to light the fire, and soon they’re both sitting near it warming up themselves. Tig has to sit back straight against a tree and try not move his hands. Chibs arm around him makes it feel a little bit easier to suffer.


	10. Freaked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, another one so quickly! Yeah, exactly. I'm updating the second chapter now, because I have no idea when I'll be able to do it next time (because of the reasons I told before). I hope you like this one as much as I do :)  
> Everyone belongs to Kurt Sutter, I own nothing. When I last checked, I think in Finnish, so forgive me possible typos.

“WHY THERE’S A FREAKIN’ HUMAN-SIZED SEX DOLL IN MY ROOM?!”

I have to scream it out and I don’t care about the fact that the others are right beside me. It takes me a while to realize I’m shaking. I feel dizzy, so dizzy, that I have to lean on something soon or I’ll black out. Fortunately that ‘something’ is Jax’s shoulder.

But it doesn’t help.

Everything whirls in my head; every thought is like a loud train and colors… the colors are all gone. Suddenly the floor is right under my cheek and I’m surrounded by three different voices. My vision blurs.

When I wake up I don't feel any floor under me.  Instead I’m lying on a warm bed without a blanket. It’s not cold or anything, but sleeping without a blanket feels weird. I don’t know when I am before I see a chain of old flags covering the wall before my eyes. Why the hell I’ve been sleeping in Chibs’ bed? Where's the fucking doll?

“O' good. Ye’re awake.”

I hear a soft voice on my left and turn my head. There’s Chibs sitting on a raggedy office chair and Jax’s asleep on the floor. The sunlight of early morning fills the room. I try to stand up, but the dizzyness is back. Chibs reacts quickly and comes to sit next to me. I lean on his chest and inhale his scent.

“What the actual hell happened? Why I’m here and why Jax’s here and why you’re here, we are all supposed to be somewhere else!”

My sudden frustrated question flow makes Chibs lean further. He stares into my eyes and then slowly raises his hand. I feel a tiny knock on the back of my head, which makes me to lift my eyebrow questioning.

“Tiggy love, get yer shit together.”

Excuse me? I must look amusing because he sneers. But then, he just shakes his head and stands up. When I try to get on my feet, I lurch and immediately feel Chibs' strong grip on my shoulder. I try to be as silent as I can, but this whole situation is awkward and amusing and absurd, so I can’t help myself laughing. Chibs _sshhh_ s me, but soon we’re loud enough to wake up Jax – unfortunately. He stands up extremely pissed, but there’s nothing we can do. We just laugh all the shit of this week away.


	11. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm back! I was abroad last week, so I didn't have time to update this little lovely. I'm sorry. Anyway, it doesn't matter if you're a new or a old reader, I feel it's my responsibility to say this: every character mentioned doesn't belong to me they're Kurt Sutter's) and I don't get any kind of profit of making these. It's just for fun :) Plus, English is my 2nd language, so typos may exist. Have fun!

It all started two months ago. We had just come back from transferring AKs with Fresno’s charter. We were all so dead-tired and exhausted already, and having a gun fight with a random street gang didn’t help it at all. Luckily we survived with few bruises and cuts. Tara had been called to the Clubhouse, and once we got back there, she had hands full of work. We, who didn’t get any critical cuts, were sitting at the bar smelling, swearing and worried. That was when Tig had infiltrated closer me and slipped a tiny blue box with a letter ‘C’ on it into my pocket.

“It ain’t meant to be opened yet, you have to wait a little longer,” he had said and continued drinking like nothing had had happened.

After that smelly, rainy Thursday evening I’ve received a new one once a week somehow;  from different and extraordinary places every Thursday I found a new one, each one with a different colour. The newest one is red and I want to open it even though I know that would only make Tig sad. I study the structure of the box, but I find nothing new; it’s about the same size and weight as the other four before. Only the colour is different, which means that now they make together the colours of a rainbow. Tig really knows how to confuse a man.

The white digital clock on my night table flashes ‘6:28’ as I glare it. Great. Once again I’ve woken up way too early and way too earlier than anyone else. I place the box on the table sighing, and then take it again to my hand. This time I don’t actually care anymore, so rip the cover off and cant the content on my hand.

A small piece of my favorite chocolate falls from the box.

For a moment I’m more than amazed but then I set the piece aside and quickly unwrap the other boxes too. They all contain a piece about same size of my favorite chocolate. A set them in a row on my bed and just stare them not knowing what to do. The shadow of mine grows taller within every minute that passes, until I realize how long I’ve been sitting there and move.

“I see you aren't very patient this morning,” I hear a familiar voice. I chuckle.

“Ye right, unfortunately. Ye just haven’t made any effort to tell me the reason of these pieces I have here. But, I guess, ye have now a very good time to explain,” I insist as Tig comes to sit next to me. He's still wearing his pajamas, which is a rare vision, and smells like morning and sleep. He takes two pieces and eats them slowly, like seducing. I take the two last ones and for a good thirty secods we just sit there eating the greatest chocolade a man has ever done.

When we're done with eating a very healthy breakfast, I have to ask him what this all's about. Instead of giving me a proper explonation of his doings, he just pats my cheek cheerfully and hands me a packet that's easily recognized as a chocolate slab. Judging by Tig's earlier gifts I can guess that the chocolade is the same mark as the other ones. This time, it's just not wrapped with a colourful paper (it's black) and with a note. I take a closer look and read the small print:

"You make me go rainbow."

Tig really knows how to confuse a man, and this time he has succeeded fantastically.


	12. Counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm a cruel human being, this one is one of my personal favorites. Once again, they don't belong to me, I don't get profit, English is my second language and stuff. You know it - or so I hope. I had a lot of fun writing this despite all the angstyness it has. Chibs is one of those characters who have a very special place in my heart, yet I like torturing him. I am a ficcer, after all.

Every time I raise the bottle on my lips and take another sip of alcohol the empty feel inside me grows. That only makes me to take another to fill the emptiness and I find myself drinking in a rat race, not knowing what to do next.

“WHY?!” I have to scream as loud as I can. Surely it doesn’t help at all especially when everything hurts like this. And yet I know no certain reason why when all is blurred into one hurting mess. I feel so bad I could die right away on my feet on this fucking dirty floor. But I know my time’s not yet. I collapse first on my knees and then curl up into a ball, watching a tiny ball of grit wandering around on the floor. When lying there on the floor of Tig’s –our- apartment I realize how drunk I am. Someway I manage to hit the bottles next to me, causing them to tinkle together.

Maybe I’ve passed the line between drunkenness and hallucinating, but that sound reminds me of Tig’s laughter. I haven’t heard it in many weeks. I let another scream escape from my lips, but the last sunbeam doesn’t fade it away. It gets dark.

I can still hear the echo of the scream on the empty walls around me. That fucking asshole, I curse him. Why he had to get himself into a jail? Why he has to be so reckless and impatient and _not here when I need him most_?! Despite that I am highly aware that he wouldn’t be my Tig without being reckless and impatient. With those thoughts in my mind I let the night settle in. It fills the blank corners with its darkness and desperation leaving me not alone.  I’m too drunk to walk, too drunk to sleep or do anything; therefore I spend the whole night lying there on the floor counting time to get him back here.

I still have to wait 3 months, 24 days, 56 minutes and 5 seconds.

…4…

…3…

…2...

…1…


	13. Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! For the beginning I have to say something; because there're several chapters that I haven't written on a computer, there'll be a break coming. I hope you guys'll like this chapter as much as I do, for it'll be the last for a long time.  
> Chibs, Tara, Jax and Tig belong to hellish-but-lovely Kurt Sutter, and I'm just having fun with them. Typos may appear, this one's not betad, and English is my second language.

He has no idea how much I’d love to do it. For a week nothing more than open land, empty roads and Chibs riding on my side. I can only imagine the freedom I could feel there, seeing the Pacific Ocean and rails side by side and feeling the Sun setting behind us.

I swift a bit and study the old Harley poster I gave Jax a long time ago. I wish he’d come back soon, so I’ll be able to get back to my own house. Looking after Tara really isn’t that interesting, it’s boring mostly.

I don’t know why I torture myself with images of Chibs and I having a holiday somewhere without the Club; without fights about leadership or guns or drugs or anything! As I now think a week without dolls and clawing cats could actually be really fantastic.

I make up my mind.

“Tara!” I call her. It doesn’t take long before she shows up, holding her white wedding dress in her arms. I can clearly see the new crinkles she has just made.

“What, Tig? Did Jax call already?” she asks and sets the dress on the table next to my cold coffee cup.

I shake my head vigorously.

“He ain’t called yet, so it seems that you have to be stuck in here with me for a little longer. But, to be honest, I need your help.”

The dress is soon tucked away as she sits down and I follow her example. I’m just about to tell her what Chibs suggested, when I feel soft fur against my legs.

“Ya do know how much I hate that fucking cat,” I mention and lift my feet on the table – I have to make sure that the cat won’t attack me never again. The expression on Tara’s face is everything else than friendly but I don’t care.

“So, what I was saying… Oh right. We – Chibs and I – are planning on getting outta here for a little while. The problem is that I, being Clay’s right hand, can’t leave whenever I want to, even though Chibs an. I ‘d talk about this to Gemma, but she has already hands full with Clay.”

Tara tries to figure out something.

“In that case you two should definitely go. You know how hectic life can be and the second change could never come. I can back you up, say that you had to go to see your daughter and Chibs decided to go with you. Really, Tig, I’d love to do it.”

I’ve never been this happy and with that same heartbeat Jax walks in, hands full of groceries. I decide to leave quickly and silently as they share a kiss.

“See ya later, Jax, Tara. And thank you,” I shout behind my back and I don’t even bother to look behind. I hear Jax muttering a question to Tara, but maybe she doesn’t answer because I don’t hear an answer.

When I finally get back to home and find Chibs making coffee, I tell him to pack. He looks confused and shakes his head, but when I explain him what happened with Tara I earn a devilish grin. He brings our foreheads together and I can’t help drowning into his eyes. Soon I have a tiny eternity to drown into that feeling over and over again.


End file.
